Kryptonite
by songstar13
Summary: "Determination hadn't been enough to save her. Stubborn determination and defiance didn't keep him from bleeding out, didn't force his dying body to find new life." Ichiruki


**Title: **Kryptonite

**Disclaimer: **Once again, I own the fingers that typed this story and nothing else. Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia belong to Kubo Tite and the respective owners of the manga. The bolded, italicized lines are lyrics to a song written by 3 Doors Down.

**Characters: **Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia

**Author's Note: **I'm kinda iffy about the ending...the last line bothers me a bit, because I didn't want to say it so blatantly, but I couldn't think of another way to put it. If anyone has a suggestion for a way it could be changed or fixed, I'd be grateful. Thanks.

**Please Read and Review!**

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**_I took a walk around the world to  
Ease my troubled mind  
I left my body laying somewhere  
In the sands of time  
I watched the world float to the dark  
Side of the moon  
I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah_**

That time, he'd been weak. He hadn't been able to stop them, to keep them from ripping her from his side.

Determination hadn't been enough to save her. Stubborn determination and defiance didn't keep him from bleeding out, didn't force his dying body to find new life. He had lain there, powerless, as they marched her down the street and out of his life. His blood painted the street, washing away under the rain, streaking the dark pavement with bright crimson vitality.

It had been raining that day too. The first day he'd been helpless to save the life of someone he loved.

The rain fell, unsympathetic, as his body struggled toward its last breath. The air rushed into his burning lungs like sand paper, scratching noisily at his throat. The rasping breaths blended into the sound of the falling rain.

He couldn't save her. He wasn't strong enough. The anguishing reality of his own incompetence cut more cleanly than any blade. The agony of that wound stung more acutely than the blunt-edged gaping holes torn through him.

The emptiness inside him cried out. She was gone, gone, _gone!_ And he would continue on, without out her, without the center of his world. She'd given him the power to protect, to ensure the safety and happiness of others with his own two hands. So why hadn't it been enough?

**_I watched the world float to the  
Dark side of the moon  
After all I knew it had to be something  
To do with you  
I really don't mind what happens now and then  
As long as you'll be my friend at the end_**

Sometimes he thought he hated her. She was so annoying, for such a tiny thing. It made little sense to him how such a small being could be so disproportionately infuriating. The way she talked as if she knew everything, as if she could have done any better!

Surely she was a demon from hell, sent to torment for some sin committed in a past life. Surely no one could be so aggravating without design.

But even beneath the frustration and rebellious pride, he'd known he would never trade those moments for anything. She was the only person who could stand up to him, who could match his audacious defiance and cutting glares. So even in the throes of frustration, he respected her.

If this was the price of their friendship, he would pay it a thousand times over.

**_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be  
There holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side with  
My superhuman might  
Kryptonite_**

The madness tore at him, clawed at his control. The colors around him faded, bled out into black and white, as if bleached. Time seemed to stop as the darkness inside rose up, pushing the fragile grip he maintained on his sanity.

It threatened everything that had ever meant anything to him. It threatened his existence, threatened his ability to protect those he loved. It threatened her, threatened her opinion of him.

It shamed him that he couldn't contain it. The seeds of the madness grew, sprouted into a creeping vine that stole his power, his life bit by bit each moment. The voice in his head blotted out everything else, made it so he couldn't concentrate, couldn't think past the hated voice.

He'd seen the way she looked at him whenever it broke through. He'd seen her pity, her disappointment, through its yellowed eyes. She couldn't understand the horror caged within him, couldn't comprehend his ceaseless fight to keep it from taking over permanently, from trapping him inside his own mind.

He couldn't keep her from leaving if he couldn't keep his sanity. All his strength was useless, if he lost himself to the darkness growing within. If he couldn't save himself from a monster born of his own failure, his own incompetence, how could he protect her from those who might wish her harm?

**_You called me strong, you called me weak  
But still your secrets I will keep  
You took for granted all the times I  
Never let you down  
You stumbled in and bumped your head _****_  
If not for me then you'd be dead  
I picked you up and put you_**

**_Back on solid ground_**

She had underestimated him. She'd told him to run, to get away while he had the chance, but he hadn't listened. When had he ever listened to her? She'd forgotten how he'd so completely overpowered her the first time they met. She'd forgotten his rebellious determination, his complete disregard for his own safety.

She'd forgotten that he loved her.


End file.
